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January 9th, 2004

11:10 am - well, i need to update more often.
it's the day before my 18th birthday and i'm stoked.

update: kayla came down and we went shopping with granny. then jeff and i went to their house on christmas, then to his grandparent's house, then home. we had 3 christmases! then on the 28th we got to go to disneyland, and on that monday, my dad picked the 3 of us up and we went to venice. i got my tongue pierced! i can change the bar in about 5 more weeks now. i bought a bright pink one. right now it's just silver. i want to get the one that says "fuck off" to match the beanie that i got for jeff in venice.

venice was cold, and gloomy. and harry parry and the mime and the guy who walks on glass weren't there. oh well. next time.

we walked by a restaurant and they were playing the date rape song. i was singing and laughing. i love being alive.

all is well.

so, the one and only kel-bell is going to be legal tomorrow. i'm gonna start driving, i can get my own tattoo, and i can say "fuck you" to this bloody school. i'm doing independant study.

for the last 2 days, i've been coming to school, going on aol instant messenger and talking to my mom and rosa and playing pool on yahoo with my mom. it's fun.

we laugh.

i need to get rid of these cramps. because my pills are so low hormone, for the last 4 months, i've been starting the dreaded period 2 weeks early, and getting it when i'm really supposed to. so i'm fucked 1/2 the time of the month. so anyway, the point i was getting to was that i'm going to be on it for my birthday. doesn't that suck donkey balls?

so yeah, it's like 40 minutes later. i went to the bathroom and then kidnapped tiffany so that we could hang out.

"come on mom, it's a funny word, and it's not like i don't have any myself." -me, on the word "tits"

school's out in 7 minutes. adios.

*kelli* soon to be 18 and legal! yeah!
Current Mood: [mood icon] anxious
Current Music: scar tissue - red hot chilli peppers

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December 4th, 2003

08:25 am - i'm back
jeff and i have been together for 1 year, 6 months, and 1 day today. so last night we rented *gets deep dramatic voice* "pirates of the carribean: the curse of the black pearl." FUCKING AWESOME MOVIE!!! it was hella funny and there was sword fighting and and johhny depp getting slapped by whores and living dead skeletons. (the moonlight shows them for what they really are.) so yeah...

i get to go to disney land when kayla gets here. she getting here on friday, the 19th, and my xmas break starts on the 22nd. wheee! so we could probably just go on the 21st. that'd be grand. the best part is that i'll get to go with jeff. we haven't been any place all fun and exciting like that yet. and hopefully we'll get to go to magic mountain next summer. i just can't wait to hold him and squeeze him as i get scared on the coasters. lol no matter how much i love the ride, i'm scared something bad is going to happen. hehehe i'm a geek. it's just fun paranoia. jeff and i talked about getting my sister high. that was be fuckin' hilarious! lol

*sigh* i have to be in for another 2 hours and 45 minutes. kill me now. 44 minutes. lol

i need to eat something. but i told myself i couldn't eat this morning so that when i get home...i can have a piece of pie and not feel to fat about it. i feel like drawing again. my eye is irritated.

i would go borrow a pencil from mrs. keen the bitch, but she might ask me for my medi-cal card again. bitch doesn't deserve collateral. just because everyone else steals her pencils doesn't mean i will. so i think that when i walk by her desk i will.

something is not right. i think it's my hunger.

or maybe it's the fact that this girl who i don't really know keeps looking at my journal. poop.

i'm going to make an icon for my journal. more later.

i love you baby...*kisskisskiss*
Current Mood: [mood icon] annoyed
Current Music: the bodeans...something's telling me (stuck in head)

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November 24th, 2003

09:59 am - GODDAMMIT ALL TO HELL
i really fucking hate this world. it's way too fucking small. i need to go home and vent to jeff. i don't get to go home for 2 whole fucking hours. grrrrrrrr. jenna i need you to teach me how to do all that big stuff so that i may SCREAM!

i rented 6 movies this weekend. actually, 5, and then danielle came over and she wanted to get "edward scissorhands," so we went ahead and got that too. i picked out "fast times at ridgemont high," "madhouse," and "zoolander." jeff picked out "close encounters of the third kind," and "the abyss." both hella good movies that i had never seen. i almost cried during "abyss." and i screamed at the guy in "ciot3k" because he kissed another woman and not his wife. and i called the other woman a bitch. i called him a price.

i got new shoes. they rock my ass. they are black with tan lines around the tops, and then 2 tan stripes on either side. and they strap around the ankle. they make jeff horny. lol

so...anyone ever had a threesome? lol i'm going to...not too happy about, but it's neccessary. i haven't worn make up in forever. someone else did. i won't say, just because it would be fucked up to, but yeah. danielle wasn't that great? hey! truth or dare! sorry is there was weirdness...

i feel like being artistic and drawing. but what to draw? i need to see if i have any extra change. i got my pay check on friday, but i've already spent it. i had to buy cigarettes and shoes, so there it all went. i have $2 in change. cool huh?

i'm so going to go insane.

*kelli*
Current Mood: [mood icon] artistic
Current Music: smash mouth...name of song not known

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November 6th, 2003

10:59 am - blah...porno drama...
don't ask.

In The Last 48 Hours, Have You:

01. Cried: yes
02. Bought something: just cigarettes
03. Gotten sick: yes
04. Sang: always
05. Eaten: actually no…no wait, yeah I did. But I haven’t had anything so far today.
06. Been kissed: yeah and it was sexy.
07. Felt stupid: yeah, when I was clicking on jenna’s link to a quiz and all kinds of porn popped up.
08. Wanted to tell someone you loved them, but didn't: no, i always tell jeff i love him.
09. Met someone new: nah, the last new person i met was rosa here at school.
10. Moved on: yes. i'm proud to say i have. except from this numbing and tingling that's gets into my fingers every day from using this keyboard.
11. Talk to an ex: nope and i don't care to either.
12. Missed an ex: jenna says hellllllll no i say fuuuuuuuuuuck no.
13. Talked to someone you have a crush on: i only talk to jeff and i still have a crush on him. but shhhhh he doesn't know it yet.
14. Had a serious talk: yeah. but i'm don't like the ones that are serious like that
15. Missed someone: yes, i miss jeff for the 4 hours that i'm gone every day at school.
16. Hugged someone: yes. i hugged jeff and this morning furing break i hugged rosa
17. Fought with your parents: no, i don't live with either of my parents...thank god!
18. Dreamed about someone you can't be with: no but i dreamt that thsi little kid was following me around and i told jeff and he was like "you're pregnant" so now i'm all hella scared.


Social Life

01. Best girl friend: right now, rosa. she's awesome. but i still love jenna and ang and bek, and klare, jenci, and talia, 'nielle.
02. Best boy friend: jeff and nobody else.
03. Boyfriend/Girlfriend: jeff
04. If no, current dating partner: n/a
05. Hobbies: being with jeff, having sex with jeff, making out with jeff, watching movies with jeff, going to the races with jeff, sleeping with jeff, cuddling with jeff, litening to music with jeff, driving around with jeff, being silly with jeff...
06. Pager: not since the 9th grade...
07. Are you center of attention or the wallflower: i tend to be a wallflower, but i treally depends on the people i'm with.
08. What type automobile do you drive: none.
09. What type automobile do you wish you drove: my old school ghetto pink vw bug
10. Would you rather be with friends or on a date: with jeff on a date and meeting up with my friends and their dates
11. Where is the best hangout: the garage. it's where we always are.
12. Do you have a job: not yet. but hopefully soon at the jc penny portrait studio, or some place i call in the newspaper.
13. Do you attend church: not anymore.
14. Do you like being around people: yes


Who:

01. Have you known the longest: myself, my mother
02. Do you argue the most with: my mom, my sister
03. Do you always get along with: jeff for the most part (we get into little tiffs sometimes but that's not uncommon)
04. Is the most trustworthy: jeff
05. Makes you laugh the most: jeff, tiffany, steve
06. Has been there through all the hard times: jeff, jeff's mom, my dad
07. Has the coolest parents: jeff's parents are great
08. Has the scariest siblings: me, most definatley. have you met my sister and her freak-deaky friends?!?!?!
09. Is the most blunt: diane
10. Is the smartest: jeff's smarter than i am

Personal:

01. Who is your role model: i look up to all my family and friends. they all support me and they all try to help me in any way that they can.
02. What are some of your pet peeves: where shall i begin? poor grammar, bad teeth (like austin powers bad), ignorance, poor spelling, bad sense of direction, sloppy handwriting that is literally impossible to read stupid teachers, people who hurt me for no reason, people in spokane (they are the epitamy of bad grammar and horrible teeth and sloppy writing) and the list could go on...
03. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with: yeah, but not anymore. i stopped falling for people like that when i realized that it was better to meet your own people, and not get so depressed when you don't really get a letter back from jonathan taylor thomas when you had written to him 2 years before...you have to learn to accept it, and i did. and that's when my life began. and i learned who i am by going out with real guys, and what i hated,and then i found mah baby!
04. Have you ever cried over the opposite sex: yeah but they can go fuck themselves now. i'm not cryin' anymore
05. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after: not really a type, but at least someone who cares about me and listens to me and tries to be empathetic (ahhhhhh ::sighs in wonder at someone like that::)
06. Have you ever lied to your best friend(s): like little white lies maybe once.
07. Ever wanted to get revenge on someone because they hurt you: um yea i think if i ever see dar..... uhhhhh this one girl, i will fucking kill her.
08. Would you rather be dumper or dumped? be dumped without a doubt cuz i dont have it in my to hurt someone
09. Rather have a relationship or a "hookup": i would so much rather have a relationship because i depend on moral support and i love the intimacy of being totally comfortable around someone.
10. Want someone you don't have right now: ummmmmm do i even have to answer this one??
11. Ever liked your best guy/girl friend: yup couple of times and it ruined the whole thing
12. Do you want to get married: yes and no. yes for the fun of it and no because i dont want the risk of divorce
13. Do you want kids: good god no
14. Do you believe in psychics: not a chance
15. Do you believe you know the person whom you will marry at this point in time: does anyone? but i want it to be my baby!!! :)
16. What is your favorite part of your physical appearance: either my ghetto ass, my big boobs, or my eyebrows that make me a foxxx
17. What is your favorite part of your emotional being: i'm really REALLY good at covering up when i want to. but lately i just havent cared about covering up.
18. Are you happy with you: sure why not. actually no i'm fat but oh well
19. Are you happy with your life: yep cuz i work and i go to school and i still have plenty of time for a well rounded and balanced relationship
20. If you could change something in your life right now, what would it be: like kass, i would love to be better with friendships, but i would also like to be cleaner (my room and my vocabulary)


Current:

[ Current Clothes ] jeans (my fave article of clothing), a pink tee (another fave), and underthings...
[ Current Mood ] blah
[ Current Music ] aint no fun..... snoop dogg
[ Current Taste ] ranch from my salad just now.
[ Current Make-up ] none, was too lazy today
[ Current Hair] in my cute little meager pony
[ Current Annoyance ] fat
[ Current Smell ] my rank garlic and ranch breath hahaha
[ Current thing I ought to be doing ] hmmm homework and begging my boss for this friday off
[ Current Desktop Picture] mmmmm yummy jesse james
[ Current Favorite Artist ] none really i listen to everything
[ Current Favorite Group ] ummm idk
[ Current Book you're reading ] just finished the second summer of the traveling pants
[ Current CD in CD Player ] linkin park meteora
[ Current DVD in player ] none
[ Current Color Of Toenails ] none
[ Current Refreshment ] none except for the rum in the flask i found in a tux coat last night but i am SO not drinking that.
[ Current Worry ] this friday and if it works out and if i ever see who i want to see. :-D



YOU

NAME: Jenna
NAME BACKWARDS: Annej
NICKNAME(S): separation anxiety girl, BAM, BUM, tux girl, sweetie, honey, stinky, shithead
DATE OF BIRTH: november 7th, 1986
HEIGHT: 5'3" on a good day
SHOE SIZE: idk i think my feet shrunk from a 9.5 to a 8.5 or 9
HAIR COLOR: dark brown when my hair is down and when i put it up my highlights show and its light brown on top
EYE COLOR: mud brown... jk honey brown
HAIR STYLE: short and usually in a meager pony
INNIE OR OUTIE: innie... ewww outies are nasty
RIGHT,LEFTY,OR AMBIDEXTROUS: i'm a righty and proud haha


DO YOU HAVE

ANY SISTERS: zero
ANY BROTHERS: used to be 5 but now i only have 3 but in all due honesty i only have 2
ANY PETS: dogs (quila [as in tequila] and pepper), cat (smokey), fish (pepper's 2 & 3 [cuz they take after my dumb dog] and bum's 1&2), and i just names my snake Morton
A POOL OR HOT TUB: broken spa
A CAR: none yet but i'm saving up for one
DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY: i'm funny and nice. people come to me for help and apparently, i'm a very "pleasant" person. i hide my true feelings about things and i hide my own worries. so i'm kinda secretive and mysterious.
DRIVING: not yet
CAR OR ONE YOU WANT: 1962 chevy nova in mint comdition
ROOM: it's so big and its so messy but i have gigantic collages on my closet and a wall that are definately meeeeee
SHOES: flip flops rock my world and some platforms. but i have 2 pairs of slides, 1 pair of boots, i think i have tennis shoes somewhere, and i have some weird sandal things idk....
SCHOOL: of hard knocks haha moorpark is so not that.
RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENTS: pure and utter hatred
FRIENDS: so so caring and loving and i trust them all with my life


DO YOU

GET MOTION SICKNESS: its a disease for me, so yes but i ignore it now.
DREAM IN COLOR: who doesnt?
SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS: one or two that matt gave me
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF: for the most part but my boss definately believes in me more
BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: dont believe in it for the most part...
CONSIDER YOURSELF A GOOD LISTENER: better than most not as good as some
CONSIDER YOURSELF A GOOD FRIEND: yes of course
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS: no way
SAVE YOUR AIM CONVERSATIONS: na but i copy funny or pivotal ones into my dj
LIKE TO MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE: definately friends and coworkers but not people who would get offended


FAVORITES

NUMBER: 22
COLOR: pink orange and black
MONTH: sept - march
SEASON: winter/spring
MOVIE: the princess bride, monsters inc, american history x, jackass, south park, the list gies on
SONG: currentyl its between linkin park's whole cd meteora, maroon 5's harder to breathe, and couning crows colorblind
SPORT: is sex a sport?
SUBJECT: english and photocrafts
TEACHER: so many... meno, mr fredette, mr hagerty, dr friday, dr chess, mr s, mr hoag, mr bednar
DRINK: water baby!!
TV SHOW: ummm i love the 80's original and queer eye for the straight guy are AWESOME, but DEAD LIKE ME rocks my world hardcore.
RADIO STATION: none
STORE: GARY'S TUX SHOP!!! haha and Great Earth! hahaha :)
ANIMAL: snake
FLOWER: poppy
STATE: washington
FRIEND(S): matt, nicole, brandy, kendall, megan, shaka, chirs, chris, luis (haha), armand, tony, jeff, sara, sara, natalie, nancy, nancy, and kevin bo bevin. :)


THIS OR THAT

COKE/PEPSI: neither
DAY/NIGHT: night
AOL/AIM: AIM
CD/CASETTE: CD
DVD/VHS: DVD
JEAN/KHAKI: jean
CAR/TRUCK: truck
TALL/SHORT: tall-ish
LUNCH/DINNER: dinner
N'SYNC/BACK STREET BOYS: NSYNC
BRITNEY OR CHRISTINA: both at once (yea baby!)
GAP/OLD NAVY: OLD NAVY ALL THE WAY!!!
LIPSTICK/LIP GLOSS: lip gloss over lipstick any day... i dont need lip stick cuz my lips are perfect
SILVER/GOLD: silver


LOVE AND REALATIONSHIPS

DO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND: umm where have u been for a year and a half?
IF YOU'RE SINGLE,WHY ARE YOU: i'm not
WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN THE OPPOSITE SEX: someone who will empathize with me and listen to my problems without being criticalor judgemental. someone who's not afraid of my "dick addicted" personality haha, and someone who will love me unconditionally no matter what.
DO YOU HAVE YOUR EYE ON SOMEONE RIGHT NOW: ummm yes my bf.....? lol


THE PAST

WHAT IS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE YOU'VE MADE: not one i made cuz i was too young to know better, but letting things happen when i was 7 cuz now i'm fucked up.
LAST THING YOU SAID: "why dont u take a nap before school? oh cuz u'll be leaving in an hour...."
WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU SAW: paul
WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU KISSED: matthew
WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU HUGGED: nicole i think but idk
WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU FOUGHT WITH: some dumb customer
WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU WERE ON THE PHONE WITH: i'm on the phone with matthew right now
WHAT IS THE LAST TELEVISION SHOW YOU WATCHED: ummm idk probably monster garage or something like that


CURRENTS

WHAT ARE YOU WEARING: jeans and a pink babydoll tee
WHAT ARE YOU DOING: typing.. duh
WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO: matthew on the phone and away message on aim
WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO: father of mine - everclear
WHERE ARE YOU: in my room
WHO ARE YOU WITH: myself
HOW ARE YOU FEELING: pressured physically, anguished mentally, and worn out overall
WHAT DAY IS IT TOMMOROW: wednesday
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS: probably make a trip to the bathroom and then lay down until i go to costco
WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TALK TO: everyone in the world in 22 million different languages
WHAT DO YOU WANT YOUR JOB TO BE: nurse and tuxedo specialist. oh yea and maybe a special ed tutor or something of that sort.


HAVE YOU EVER

DRANK: hhaahhaa just check a couple of weekends ago in my dj
SMOKED: ummmmm smoka da hootch? couple times and cigs once in a blue moon
STOLEN ANYTHING: yup and i wish i hadnt
DONE ANYTHING ILLEGAL: um yea duh
HIT SOMEONE: yes all the time playin but i have hit someone when they were totally deserving it
BEEN KISSED: who hasnt haha jk jk jk jk


PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

WHAT DO YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT UR BODY: my ghetto ass, big boobs, and eyebrows
LEAST LIKE: my stomach and thighs
ARE THERE PEOPLE WHO OFTEN TELL YOU THAT YOU'RE GOOD LOOKING: haha everyday.... oh wait, i dont count do i? haha
DO YOU LOOK LIKE ANY CELEBRITY: ummm no not really


FASHION

DO YOU WEAR A WATCH: sometimes
DESCRIBE YOUR STYLE: whatever i happen to have thats comfortable. jeans, sweats, work clothes... who knows
WHAT ARE YOUR WORST QUALITIES: i put full and complete trust in people too fast and end up getting hurt. and i am too mysterious
WHAT ARE YOU BEST QUALITIES: i'm a very loving person.. and i like to show it. (same as kass) and i listen well. that and i'm a hard worker.

(Leave a comment)

08:50 am - didn't go to school again yesterday
i don't know why. i just didn't feel like going. this is my all time favorite song right now. i'm so sickly obsessed. i've heard it tons of times before, but lately i just can't get enough of it:

lithium...by nirvana


i'm so happy 'cause today
i've found my friends ...
they're in my head
i'm so ugly, but that's okay, 'cause so are you ...
we've broken our mirrors (alt: we broke our mirrors)
sunday morning is everyday for all I care ...
and i'm not scared
light my candles, in a daze
'cause i've found god
hey, hey hey (x6)

Iim so lonely, but that's okay, i shaved my head ...
and i'm not sad
and just maybe I'm to blame for all i've heard ...
but i'm not sure
i'm so excited, i can't wait to meet you there ...
but i don't care
i'm so horny, but that's okay ...
my will is good
hey, hey hey (x6)

(x2)
i like it - i'm not gonna crack
i miss you - i'm not gonna crack
i love you - i'm not gonna crack
i killed you - i'm not gonna crack

i'm so happy 'cause today
i've found my friends ...
they're in my head
i'm so ugly, but that's okay, 'cause so are you ...
we've broken our mirrors (alt: we broke our mirrors)
sunday morning is everyday for all i care ...
and i'm not scared
light my candles in a daze ...
'cause i've found god
hey, hey hey (x6)

(x2)
i like it - i'm not gonna crack
i miss you - i'm not gonna crack
i love you - i'm not gonna crack
i killed you - i'm not gonna crack

love it.

so anyway, i'm here in school again. jeff and i rented "american beauty," "deep blue sea," "only you," "the night of the demons," and "stripped to kill." i love "only you" (that's why we got it, as with "american beauty"), "deep blue sea" was cool but totally grody, and "the night of the demons was something i saw when i was in 2nd grade, and literally could not sleep for two weeks because of it, and i didn't remember what it was about, so i had to see it as the older, morae mature adult kelli that i am. (haha) and "stripped to kill" i didn't eve nwant to finish i was so bored. it's about this guy that kills strippers, but the whole movie is just a bunch of strippers and boobies and pills. boring. ya know?

i guess guys like that kinda stuff.

i'm hungry and i'm seriously thinking about just getting my g.e.d. and finishing high school when i have $$$ to do it from home. ya know? there's this pcdi program that's pretty good, and they aren't all that expensive either.

my arms are getting tired and i have to go get at least some work done. so more later.

*kelli*
Current Mood: [mood icon] hungry
Current Music: lithium - nirvana

(Leave a comment)

November 4th, 2003

09:45 am - in school...
not doing school work. i am working on my new website. if anybody cares, which i'm sure no one does. i probably will just be putting pics up of jeff. lol i can't wait till i turn 18. i'm having a monstrous party. i want all my friends to come. it's hard keeping in touch with so many people though. i think i will have:

jenna
angie
danielle
ashli
talia
jenny
bekah
other jenny
klare
kristin
jamie
liz
cassie

maybe some more people. i don't think i'll invite steve and tiffany. i'm not sure i want to get totally wasted either and forget all the fun i had or end up streaking around the block. lol bye.
Current Mood: [mood icon] artistic
Current Music: third eye blind - i'll never let you go

(Leave a comment)

09:25 am - i'm going to...
disneyland!!!!!!!!! i am soooooooo ecstatic! ted is going to take me and my sis and jeff. and jeff and i are going to take kayla to venice. she's coming down for xmas this year. cool huh? anyway, steve and tiffany are gone...finally. not because they found a place to live, but we told them that jeff's aunt and uncle had to come stay with us because we don't know yet whether or not their house was burned down in the arrowhead fire. so anyway, just wanted to let everyone know that i'm going to disneyland! yay! one less thing to ask for for my birthday. actually, i want these dolls: http://www.fao.com/global/store/product_detail.cfm?TID=63845150105333690301113934&GroupTP=Model&ItemDetail=Chicago%20%2D%20Velma%20Kelly&Site=Toys&SubCategory=Dolls&rs_section=Dolls&GroupID=179998&CategoryList=Robert%20Tonner&TreeID=173250&category=Robert%20Tonner
i don't know if that link will work so whatever. anyway, i'm gonna go for now.
Current Mood: [mood icon] cheerful
Current Music: mr. t experience - hella dumb

(Leave a comment)

October 28th, 2003

09:35 am - you know what's funny?
is that all your friends want you to update your journal, and yet nobody reads it. and i know this, because if they did then someone would have left a comment on at least my latest entry. i guess moving just made me a non-part of the group. i have no more friends. i have jeff. oh, and then there's steve and tiffany but i'm seriously on the verge of killing them. onto something cheery.

saw "dreamcatcher." ok so that's not so cheery either. it makes me cry every time. my favorite character is defiantely dudits, but pete is hilarious, beaver has a 24 hour boner (in the movie), h is cool, he survives, and then jonesy, also as mr. gray. it's such a sad movie. but i understand that dudits died for a good cause, and because he was with h, he was happy. "ooby ooby doo, we ot sum urk tu du now!" the shit weasels are great. disgusting, but great. they kind of look like penises. except with rows of large scary teeth and eyes. *shiver* there's this one part where a shit weasel jumps out of the snow as pete is peeing and bites him! can you say "ow?" jeff cringed. we watched it 3 times in the 2 days that we had it rented. i also got to rent "chicago" on dvd. just so i could play with all the extras. i want it for xmas. i also want clothes, and a car, and money. yeah, that's pretty much it. oh and i want some dvds and butterfly stuff. i think i should go. i don't want to get into trouble. bye bye.

kelli

"we'll have our names on the marquee...velma kelly and roxie hart!"
"shouldn't it be in alphabetical order?"
"that could work..."
"no, no, it would never work!"
"why not!"
"because i hate you!"
"there's only one business in this world where that doesn't matter..."
Current Mood: [mood icon] blah
Current Music: none

(Leave a comment)

July 11th, 2003

07:04 pm - smiling is not flirting. goddammit i'm pissed.

My life is rated NC-17.
What is your life rated?


i would take a whole bunch of the other quizzes, but i never can because older authority figures are around and i don't want them to see the site that all the quizzes are on. lol

i really need to get a job. i need to be able to get the fuck out of here every single day. but even then i'll get all the questions about people at work. i'm dropping out, and that's that. if he's tired of listening to me complain about people, and i'm tired of people, and i'm tired of school, then why the fuck should i bother going?! my "plan" is to go to buena for a couple of months, then i will trandfer to mp once i have my license and my goddamn car, and then after prom (because i really want to go to prom and get my senior yearbook, and yes, i will have my picture in the yearbook) i will drop out. fuck graduation, fuck grad night, fuck all my dreams of going somewhere. FUCK LIFE! i hate everything so much, and i sit here, wanting to cry, but can't bring myself to do it... i so want to just go away. but i have nowhere to go. i miss my mom, i miss jeff, i miss myself. as jenna once said "life is like a dick, when it gets hard, fuck it." well, i'm about to do just that. all these suicidal thoughts going through my head, all the times i just want to slit my wrists because nothing seems worth it anymore. i can't please anyone. i'm always hurting someone. someone is always hurting me. and i'm not FUCKING HAPPY ANYMORE! there's this part of me that wishes that i could go back and re-do it all. not make all my stupid ass mistakes. not hurt the one person who shows he actually cares. i want to get the fuck away from my past and from california!!! well, i guess i should tell everyone now, i'm getting a job so i can save up to move to colorado with my uncle. jeff and i are saving up together. fuck this life. we need to start over. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck and more fuck!!!

i'm leaving. wheel of fortune is goinf to be on soon. can't miss out on vanna's dress and pat's shitty jokes.

everything sucks.

g'nite.
Current Mood: [mood icon] confused
Current Music: my own pitiful thoughts swelling up inside my ugly head

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01:59 pm - it's been a long week...
so, a lot has happened. the 4th was fun. jeff and i went to my dad's and set off fireworks and went swimming. jeff bought a sword off of the hsn channel. it was like, 2 o'clock in the morning, and we're flipping through channels and he sees it, and he's like "i need the phone..." and it was in the totally deadpan/excited tone. so he ordered it, and it's supposed to be here in like 4 days.

we went to the mall yesterday. he bought me a necklace from claire's the has a "j" charm on it. he got a zippo that he saw at hot topic in antelope valley (but was 30 dollars) in the ventura hot topic for 3!!! so he got that and a simpsons coffe cup. i almost got this bitchin'-ass corona tank, it was soo cool. i might go back and get it today. we're going back because i have to go turn in all of the 15 applications i got. actually, 1 is from ralphs and one if from albertsons. i hope i get a job at hot topic, torrid, or spencer. i would love it! anyway, i'm going to get going for now. i'm tired of sitting at the computer. more later.

*kelli*
Current Mood: [mood icon] anxious
Current Music: the meow mix song...meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow

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July 3rd, 2003

01:54 pm - ah yes, at last. a journal i may like to keep.
i will probably still keep the others, and just rid of the ones that have info from the past that could not possibly have any relevance to today's meanings of my life. but anyway, i'm sorry to keep changing it on all of my fans. it's sad, i know. lol but i'm atisfied with this one. i think one day, i shall print up all of my journals and just hand them to my kids and say "here, get to know me this way." oh god, can you imagine the questions that they would have for me? oh jesus. anyway, i'm going to go take all those stupid quizzes again, blah blah blah. lol it won't take long. i will probably just do them all in one sitting next week and my whole journal entry will be quiz results. haha i know i'll be bored next week. ok, so to some quizzes!






What Planet Are You From?


this quiz was made by The Autist Formerly Known As Tim


silent_tears_3
Magic Number17
JobSerial Killer
PersonalityRainy Day
TemperamentBest Not To Ask
SexualIf I Have To
Likely To WinA Free Coke
Me - In A WordDevious
Colour
Brought to you by MemeJack



You represent... playfulness.
You represent... playfulness.
Playfulness can often be mistaken for sluttiness or
flirtiness... Flirting is something you enjoy
doing, but you're mostly just about having fun.
You're into partying, and it's seems that
people enjoy your company as much as you enjoy
their's.


What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

(this computer is sooooo slooooooow!!!)

more later. i have to get my honey.
Current Mood: [mood icon] anxious
Current Music: "lollipop" *pop* bom bom bom bom bom

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